


The Newlywed Game

by Mother_of_Eevees



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Fluff and Humor, Implied background kenhina, M/M, Married Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Post-Canon, Post-Haikyuu!! Chapter 402: Final Chapter: Challengers, Post-Time Skip, Talk Show Host Fukunaga Shohei, Timeskip Spoilers, Tsukishima is on the National Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29244561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_of_Eevees/pseuds/Mother_of_Eevees
Summary: “I told Kei I would marry him as many times in as many countries as we could,” Kuroo adds, and the audience oohs and ahhhs.“Yes, because you didn’t have to plan the weddings,” Kei retorts, and the audience laughs and applauds.Newlyweds Kuroo and Tsukishima go on a tv show to talk about their wedding and respond to audience polls.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 6
Kudos: 125





	The Newlywed Game

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was Inspired by ship polls on Twitter.

“So your answer is no?”

“Yes, my answer is no.” 

“But it would be fun!” Kuroo pretends to pout. Kei wants to lean over and kiss the pout away, but steels his resolve.

“No, it would be embarrassing,”

“It would be silly and sweet,”

“I’d rather not,”

Kuroo nods and changes the subject.

The next day, after practice, the coach calls him over.

“I hear you’ve been offered an appearance on one of Kodzuken’s tv shows,”

Kei raises an eyebrow. “Word travels fast,”

“Not to influence your decision,” Kei raises an eyebrow. “But think about it. It’d be good publicity for the Frogs and for you, since you’ve just joined the National Team,”

Kei showers and changes into his street clothes before texting Kuroo:

_Ok, fine, I’ll do it, but no sex questions_  


His phone pings moments later

_Of course not ;) Thank you!_

Kuroo, gracious in victory, surprises him with his favorite dessert that night.

“So when are we doing this?” Kei asks later, after they’ve finished dessert and are lounging on the couch.

“When’s your next day off?”

xoxo

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,”

Kodzuken Network studios is a short walk from the train station. Kei hasn’t been to the new location, but Kuroo is clearly familiar with the setup. He and the receptionist greet each other familiarly and exchange pleasantries while they wait for their escort.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen, please come this way,” 

Something about their escort, a tallish young woman, still with some teen gangliness, and fluffy orange hair, seems awfully familiar to Kei.

“Natsu, is that you?”

She smiles and it is indeed the junior sunbeam, just as energetic as Kei’s once and future teammate, though much less exhausting. 

“Kei-san, Kuroo-san, hello!”

“What are you doing here? Last I heard you were at college in Southern California,” Kei says, pulling her in for a hug.

“I’m graduating next year, and then…look out world! Shouyou helped me get a summer job at the network. I’ll take you to Fukunaga-san, then to makeup and the green room.”

xoxo

“I’m so glad you decided to do it! How hard did Kuroo-san have to twist your arm?” Fukunaga winks at Kei, who rolls his eyes. “You’re familiar with the show, correct? Have you seen any of the episodes?”

“Kuroo has seen most of them, I only watched the episode with Bokuto and Akaashi,”

Fukunaga smiles fondly. “That was one of our most popular episodes - a lot of the responses went viral: “5 times Bokuto made Akaashi blush, and 1 time Akaashi made Bokuto blush” “10 times Bokuto and Akaashi were so in love” and so forth. You should’ve seen the questions we couldn’t use!

“We’ll start by asking a couple of questions about how you met and your wedding, then we’ll take a break, escort you back to the green room and ask the audience a series of questions about which one of you is more likely to do a particular thing. After that, we’ll bring you back on stage and you’ll answer the questions and see the poll results, and then we’ll wrap. Sound good?”

They nod. Natsu is waiting outside the conference room for them, smiling at something on her phone.

“My brother says hi and not to be too lovey-dovey on the show. He can’t wait to watch it!”

Kuroo laughs and she leads them to makeup, where they get a bit of foundation so they don’t look washed out under the lights. Kei is wearing one of his favorite blue sweaters and the makeup artist nods approvingly. Kuroo is wearing a red button-down shirt and a tie with a pattern of volleyballs on it; there is a brief consultation as to whether he’ll need to change it because the pattern will be too distracting on camera, but Kuroo reminds them that he’s worn the tie on camera before and it was fine.

Natsu leads them to the green room, which has a very comfortable couch, a high-end automatic espresso maker, a mini-fridge and an overflowing basket of snacks.

“Last chance to back out, moonshine,” Kuroo says, poking through the snacks and grabbing a bag of his favorite candy.

Kei rolls his shoulders to shake out the tension. “When I joined the national team, I knew this sort of thing would be part of it. And at least you’re here with me.” 

xoxo

“Today we have a very special episode of ‘Shenanigans with Shohei’ – please welcome our guests, Japanese National Team member Tsukishima Kei and JVA impresario Kuroo Tetsurou!”

To Kei’s relief, Kuroo grabs Kei’s hand as they walk out and wave to the audience. For all that he plays professional volleyball to packed stadiums, somehow walking on stage to answer personal questions is more nerve-racking.

Fukunaga bows and Kuroo reaches out and hugs him, ruffling his hair as he lets go, to a murmur of laughter from the audience. They settle down on the guest couch; Kei feels awkward and it’s reflected in his posture. Kuroo sits sideways in a corner of the couch and sprawls a bit. He stretches an arm out so it’s touching Kei’s shoulder and delicately ruffles the back of his hair; Kei takes a deep breath and feels most of the stress dissipate.

“Welcome! And congratulations on your wedding,”

“Thank you. We had a ceremony about a year ago, but it’s nice to be officially married in the eyes of Japanese law,” 

“I told Kei I would marry him as many times in as many countries as we could,” Kuroo adds, and the audience oohs and ahhhs.

“Yes, because you didn’t have to plan the weddings,” Kei retorts, and the audience laughs and applauds.

“True! But neither did you, we did hire a wedding planner, thank goodness,”

“Where was the first ceremony?” 

“Hawaii,” Kuroo says, to an appreciative murmur from the audience.

“And the second?”

“In Miyagi, where I grew up,” Kei says.

“We can show the pictures, right?” Fukunaga asks. Kuroo nods enthusiastically, Kei shrugs in agreement. The audience explodes in applause as photos of them go up on a screen. In Hawaii, they’re wearing aloha shirts and matching groom’s leis of maile leaves. Kuroo’s has green orchids interwoven between the leaves, and Kei’s has white orchids.

“We were going to have scented tropical flowers instead of orchids, but Tetsu started sneezing as soon as we walked into the flower shop, so we had unscented flowers instead,” Kei says and the audience laughs.

“I didn’t want to start married life with either my eyes swollen shut, or half-asleep from antihistamines!”

“And here’s a photo from your most recent wedding – “

“You make us sound like that movie star who got married all those times!” Kuroo interrupts in mock-indignation. “But we do look pretty amazing here, don’t we, Tsukki?”

Kei tilts his head and considers the photo. They’re both wearing formal wedding kimono; Kei’s is a deep navy, Kuroo’s is a deep burgundy, and they’re looking at each other like they’re the only people on the planet.

“Yes, we do, and it was all a lot of work to get organized, but it was worth it,”

Kuroo looks at him with a soft expression and pulls him closer to kiss him on the cheek. Another burst of applause and squeals from a couple of teenagers. 

“I know you two met in high school, but when did you start dating?”

“We texted occasionally, but once I started working for the JVA and Tsukki started playing for the Frogs, we saw each other more often, and then one day I asked him to dinner, and the rest is history,”

“Very nice! Now, who changed their name?”

“Neither of us,” Kei says, to a murmur from the audience. “You may recall that when the Diet legalized same-sex marriage, they also struck down the law requiring partners to have the same name. We both like our names and didn’t feel like changing them, so we didn’t.”

A smattering of applause and cheers from the audience. Kei looks out into the crowd and sees several young women clapping quite fiercely and he nods at them. One catches his eye and pumps her fist in victory. Kei has a quick memory of overhearing Akiteru and his girlfriend arguing over who would change their name if they got married and how it was one of the last straws in their volatile relationship, and almost misses Fukunaga’s next question.

“Tell us about how you got on the National Team, Tsukishima-san,”

“Seeing my former teammates and friends at the Olympics in 2021 inspired me to work harder to help my team, the Sendai Frogs,” Kei pauses briefly as some Frogs fans get loud in the audience, “reach Division 1, and once we did, my coach and my friends suggested I should try out for the National Team, so I did. I got on to the reserve list, and when Sokolov-san decided to retire, I got the call,”

“That’s right, you were on the same team in high school as Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou, correct?”

“Gods, how did you get that picture?” Kei grimaces as an old Karasuno team photo goes up on the screen. The audience explodes in laughter and applause. Kuroo hides a smile behind his hand.

“Yes, we played together in high school and went to nationals several times.”

“And now you’ll be going to the Olympics together. So exciting!”

“We do still have to qualify, but I feel good about our chances,”

“Kuroo-san, assuming Japan qualifies, will you go to Paris with your husband?”

Kuroo grins. “I’ve already started learning French! _‘Ou est le match du volleyball?’”_

Kei can’t help it – he tries not to, but he bursts out laughing. “Your accent! _C’est vraiment terrible, mais je t’aime beaucoup._ ” Or at least he tries to say it, because it just gets funnier and he is laughing so hard it’s hard to speak.

“On that note, we’re going to take a short break and when we come back, we’ll be asking the audience questions about our newlyweds. Stay tuned!”

The audience claps, the stage manager cuts them off, and the crew starts getting ready for the next segment. Fukunaga smiles and leans toward Kuroo and Kei, who has finally regained his composure and takes off his glasses to wipe his eyes.

“I think that went well, what do you think?”

“It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting,” Kei admits.

“Natsu will take you to the green room and then after the audience votes, we’ll bring you back, you’ll see the results and react. You’ve both been great, just keep it up,”

When they get to the green room, there’s an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne on the counter. Kozume Kenma, Kodzuken Network CEO, is sitting on one of the couches playing a game on his phone.

“You can drink now, or wait till after the taping’s over, whichever you prefer,” Kenma says. He’s wearing dressy slacks, a button-down and a hoodie with the Bouncing Ball logo.

“Kenmaaaa!” Kuroo wraps him up in a hug, which Kenma endures for a moment before wriggling out of it. He catches Kei’s eye and they exchange raised eyebrows at each other.

“How is this nerd treating you, Tsukishima?”

“Well enough, Kenma, thank you. How is Hinata?”

“He’s good. I went to see him in Brazil last month and he’ll be coming to Japan for national team stuff soon.”

“Is he going to be on Fukunaga’s show too?” 

Kenma gets a glint in his eye. “I haven’t decided if he should be on the ‘National Team reads thirst tweets’ or the ‘National Team reads mean tweets’ show,”

“He was so good on the ‘MSBY reads thirst tweets’ show, he should do it again,” Kuroo says. “He always sounds so sweet and innocent,”

Kenma raises an eyebrow and smirks. “’Sounds’ being the operative word. Let’s open that champagne while we wait, shall we?”

xxoo

A few minutes later, Natsu escorts them all back to the stage. Kenma stays in the wings. “I’m going to make faces at you if you get too gross, Kuro, so try to control yourself.” Kei hides a smile.

“Welcome back everyone. We’ve got the poll results and now we’ll show them to our newlyweds and get their reactions. Are you ready?” The audience cheers. 

“First question: Who proposed?” The question goes up on a screen, then the results pop up:

Kuroo 70%  
Tsukishima 30%

“Technically, yes, it was Kuroo, but I was planning to propose if he didn’t.” Kei says, to applause. 

”Next: Who cried at the wedding?”

Kuroo 45%  
Tsukishima 55%

“Joke’s on you all, we both cried,” Kuroo says.

“Both times,” Tsukishima adds.

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” Fukunaga says, and the audience oohs along with him. Kei looks over to Kenma, out of sight of the audience, pretending to gag at their sentimentality. He catches his eye and winks at him.

“Question three: Who’s the better cook?”

Kuroo 60%  
Tsukishima 40%

Kuroo laughs when he sees the result. “Other way round. Tsukki is a great cook, and I like to bake – it’s like a chemical reaction you can eat.”

Fukunaga nods sagely. “Tsukishima-san! You’re coming on my cooking show!” Kei nods, knowing that it’s a foregone conclusion. “Next question: Who has a green thumb?”

Kuroo 30%  
Tsukishima 70%

“It’s true, I am the gardener, though we don’t have many plants because our schedules are so hectic,”

“But he rescued an orchid from Bokuto and Akaashi’s place and brought it back to life!”

“Wow, that is impressive,” Fukunaga says. “Me, I have a black thumb – I just walk by a bouquet and it wilts. They banned me from the flower shop – really! Next question: Who’s harder to wake up in the morning?”

Kuroo 60%  
Tsukishima 40%

Kuroo nods ruefully. “Now that I don’t have early morning practice, I like to sleep in as late as I can.”

“Last question, and it’s a good one: Who’s got the cold feet and/or hands?”

Kuroo 70%  
Tsukishima 30%

Kuroo gets a big grin on his face. “My darling husband has many wonderful qualities, but he has the coldest feet. No matter where, no matter what, except maybe for when we were in Hawaii that time. And his hands! He comes in to bed and his hands feel like ice when we –“

“Yes, yes, my hands are cold, I think everyone is aware of that now,” Kei says hastily and the audience laughs and applauds as Fukunaga wraps up the show and a peppy pop song plays and the audience starts to leave. Kei signs a few autographs and poses for pictures, then heads to the green room.

“Not too embarrassing, I hope?” Kuroo says, offering him a glass of champagne.

“It’s fine. Me and my cold hands will get revenge tonight.” Kei says, draining the glass and smirking at Kuroo.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are the fuel that keeps writers going - please leave one if you enjoyed this. :D
> 
> Kuroo says “Where is the volleyball game?” and Tsukishima says “Your accent is terrible, but I still love you.” Shmoopy!
> 
> Same-sex marriage is not yet legal in Japan (though some cities and prefectures have partnership certificates), and spouses are currently required by law to have the same name.


End file.
